Green

See the man with eyes so green?
Eyes far too bright a green to be natural.
He sets the city aflame so all can feel his pain.
Clad in black, he turns his back to the other men and walks through the inferno.
Green eyes glowing brighter than even the fire started by his hatred.

(c)2007 by Heather Bottger

The People Watcher

 

Always watching from a distance
Afraid to join in, afraid to be hurt

 

To be surrounded by friends just to be left alone again
Stings more than the bite of any whip that tears your flesh
For only another person can sink fingernails like claws into your heart

And bleed it dry

Only another person can rend your soul into tiny shreds of the person
you used to be and watch them fall to the floor like so much confetti.

And yet, when you're picking up the pieces of yourself
And trying to put your life back together...
It's nice to have a friend to help

 

(c) 2004 Heather Bottger

Rainbow Chasers

We are the Rainbow Chasers
We are the hope for the world
Surrounded by butterflies, the faeries call
us "New Angels of Promise"
We are the light of the future
We will stop their wars with our love,
Replace fear and despair with our hope
They will try to destroy us,
To turn us against one another
But they will fail
So screw the world
Forget what people say
The Fates took the cord of Love and braided
our lives together with it
Screw the world
We've got each other
And that's all that matters
Screw it all
We love each other
That's all that matters

(c)2002 Heather Bottger

Promise

I know I promised I wouldn't wait for you,
But the more I think about it
The more my heart tells me I was made for you

I'm sorry I can't keep my promise

When you get over this
(I know you will)
Come and find me
I'll be waiting
Because my heart won't let me love another
The way that I love you

That is a promise I know I can keep

(c)2003 Heather Bottger

I am a fan

of the twisted

and demented

 

You accept all of me

or none of me

the good

with the bad

 

All of me

or none of me

 

Which do you choose?

(c) 2007 Heather Bottger

Past

 

Looking back I wonder

What we could have

What we would do

Differently

If we could

I’m not sure I would

I’m happy where I am now

But in my foolishness

I think maybe it might be nice

To be somewhere else

(c) 2007 Heather Bottger

Love

Sing to me, and play your guitar
If just this one last time
The sound of your voice comforts me
And the melody soothes my rage
Don't ever leave me, okay?
I couldn't bear it if I lost you
I love you
You stick to me
Like glue to the paper
I want to hear the sweet music of your voice
Never let the sound leave me, leave me alone
They just won't leave me alone!
Can't they see I want to be alone?!
Alone, I just want to be alone
Alone
I just want t be alone
Be alone
With the sound of your voice

(c)2003 Heather Bottger

Lighter

 

Please don’t hate me for saying this

I’ve been feeling it for a while now, and I’d like to get it off my chest

 

It seems that, the whole time I’ve been here

You’ve been in the back of my mind

I’m so close; yet I still can’t reach you

 

But now, I have closure

Now, you are no longer attainable

And now that I feel free

I realized I was chained to your memory

 

I feel lighter now,

Not carrying all that weight around.

(c) 2007 Heather Bottger

Lie to Me

I'm scared now; there is no certainty in my life anymore
Take me in your arms; tell me everything will be okay
Lie to me, if you have to
As long as you love me, I don't really care

You are my rock; you are my anchor
You are my shelter, my pillar of strength
The shoulder I can lean on

Maybe you're right; I don't need to be scared
Take me in your arms, tell me you love me
But don't lie to me, I can handle the truth
As long as you love me, I have nothing to fear

(c)2005 Heather Bottger

It All Comes Back to You

This morning as I sat upon the couch
And read by lamplight the words you wrote
Before we'd even seen each other I realized
All Comes Back to You
When I said "I love you" before hanging up or
Signing off for the night, I had no doubts
You were my first and only true love
It All Comes Back to You
I have loved others, I have cared for others
But never with the conviction I had
When I told you I loved you
Now stoic words of wisdom come from another
Who is as much like me as I am like you
A red thread called "Destiny"
Ties me to who I was meant for
And after everything and everyone
Has all been said and done
I hope that
It All Comes Back to You

(c) 2003 Heather Bottger

If Only I Knew the Words

I want to tell you
How much you mean to me
But I don't know the words
To tell you how I feel

I want to tell you
What a good friend you've been
But when I think about it
All I can do is smile

I want you to know
That you'll never be alone
Because I'll be right beside you
Wherever you go

(c)2002 Heather Bottger

If It Makes You Happy, Kid

I never meant to hurt you
But you needed time for you
So I promised I wouldn't wait
Someone asked me
I wanted to make sure it didn't bother you
You sent the message
"If it makes you happy, kid
That's all I want from you
All I need from you"
I could only see your words
I couldn't hear your feelings
Do you resent that he can be with me
when you cannot?

If nothing else
You'll always be my brother
And that's what makes me happy

Kid

(c) 2003 Heather Bottger

Hard to Deal

 

Your time here is done
You have gone on ahead of me, just as I knew you would
But still, it is hard to deal

You call me in the morning to wish me good luck
But still, it is hard to deal

You call me in the afternoon, to see how my day went
But still, it is hard to deal

You call me in the evening, just to talk
But still, it is hard to deal

You talk to me on-line to wish me sweet dreams
But still, it is hard to deal

It is hard to deal with not seeing you every day

 

(c) 2005 Heather Bottger

Future

Where am I going?

Why am I here?

When I look back,

Will I like what I see?

Ten years from now,

Where will I be?

(c) 2007 Heather Bottger

Always Waiting for You

 

I said I'd wait forever for you, but...
I waited for you as long as I could,
But I lost myself to loneliness and found another.
So if you'd gotten over it
You would have found another also.

Then there was a third, who tried to use me
And abused me as you had been abused
But in the beginning his love for me was pure.

Now the fourth, who has stood by my side.
Even through one of the toughest trials imaginable,
But it brought us closer together.

But now I see that I have been waiting for you all along...
Waiting for you to call
To send me a letter
Or reply to an email

So I am still waiting for you

 

(c) 2005 Heather Bottger

Aiden

 

You asked me for a favor
And I said that I would grant it

You told me it would hurt you
But I did it anyway

Afterward I cried into your shoulder
As you lay unconscious in my arms

And now...
I wear a blood red crystal...
~To remind me of the boy I fell in love with~
Mounted on a silver chain
~To remind me of the man you have become~

 

(c) 2005 Heather Bottger

After the Rain

I had thought my friends
Would always be there for me
But when things got rough
I found myself alone
I moved on and made new friends
But I was very different from them
And our friendship was not true
One stayed by me
But only when others were not around
Because of them I lost all faith
True friends are only things of dreams
I found you
And you proved me wrong
Because after the rain had fallen
You were still there

 

circa 2000

A Walk in the Rain

For one, you were a brother
To another, a lover
You were a partner to one
And a protector to another
You were a playmate for a hacker
And adored by a dog
Those you met along the way still remember you
But none as fondly as I
You were the one who I looked up to
You taught me to live my life
You weren't afraid to die
But you did
So no matter how hard I try
When I search for your star in the night
I still cry
So I guess I'll just take a walk in the rain
And try to forget some of the pain
And one day I'll see you again
Somewhere, Somehow, Someday

(c) 2002 Heather Bottger